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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Scared and Lonely

Wed, Dec 1st 2010

I was married for 15 years. My ex husband had a health problem and so, our relationship became platonic but full of love. We had one child together.

An old school friend took me to meet a friend of there's in order to get me out of the house.

Soon, I began meeting this friend and eventually cheated on my husband. The person I cheated with soon became my true companion, or so I thought. He  moved in with another girl and her children. After a year they broke it off because she cheated on him. He then came back to me then and we lived together for 2 years.

During this time a very close male friend of his was injured so badly in an accident that he needed help with driving to doctor appointments. My lover drove him and soon became very, very close friends with his friend's girlfriend. I came home from work early one day and caught them together. I moved my belongings the next day. His friend eventually found out and made his girlfriend go live with my lover. However, he soon learned that she is sick with MS(Multiple Sclerosis).

Lately, my ex lover has been calling and texting me. I felt so low that, I met with him and had sex with him in his car. He is now cheating his new girlfriend(the one with MS) with me. While I want to tell her, I don't because I fear that  it might make her disease worsen. Also, I need to stop being  addicted to this man.

I went from being a woman with a husband and family to now having nothing because of this man. Yet, I still occasionally have sex with him.

What's wrong with me that I can't get him out of my system? All day, I think of him being with her.  Then I want to break it off with him and say no. But, I go right ahead and meet him and have sex in a car like a teenager.

By the way, I am 54 years old. Please help me. I want a life and no longer want to live this way. Please help me.

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