Geminus Corporation
8400 Louisiana St.
Merrillville, Indiana
46410-6353
Phone 219.757.1800
Fax 219.757.1950
www.geminus.org  info@geminus.org

Head Start all locations Lake and Porter Counties                  1-888-893-6891


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Ask Dr. DombeckAsk Dr. Dombeck:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Abusive Husband

Wed, May 31st 2000

I got married 10 months ago to a man I thought was a normal, caring family man. As soon as the day we got married everything changed. I just thought he was stressed from the wedding. Now I am more concerned that there is a mental disorder. He has been making himself throw up for over a year now, telling everyone that he is sick and needs to see the doctor. He is very easily angered over stupid stuff. You have to walk on eggshells while around him. He can not control his anger with me or his daughter. He uses his daughter to give him affection that he lacks. He does not let his 9 year old daughter be a child, she must be an adult at all times, and take care of him emotionally when I don't. He tells me that I said stuff that I never say, and gets angry when I tell him I never said it. He tells other people I say stuff that I never said. His daughter really needs counseling, but he refuses to let her mother take her. Just a few days ago, her mother called and we talked for a long time, which is something we have never done. Come to find out, everything he tells her, he tells me the opposite concerning his daughter. e.g. He told me that her mother (who has full custody) kicked her out of the house and now she lives with us....the mother told me that she never kicked her out of the house, that my husband told her that she was staying with us, and wouldn't let her stay with her mother anymore. Whenever he talks to her on the phone he goes outside or in another room, I guess so I can't hear. And he always goes over there without me to talk to her mother too. I have reason to believe that he is a compulsive liar, among other things that I do not know what they are. Its tearing down myself and his daughter as a person, he must be in control at all times, must know where I am at all hours of the day, but he can be 2 or 3 hours late coming home from work and gets mad if I say anything. It is really affecting his daughter, and I'm afraid of what he will do to the mental health of our new baby girl. Please help me, I do not know what to do.

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