Geminus Corporation
8400 Louisiana St.
Merrillville, Indiana
46410-6353
Phone 219.757.1800
Fax 219.757.1950
www.geminus.org  info@geminus.org

Head Start all locations Lake and Porter Counties                  1-888-893-6891


powered by centersite dot net
Grief & Bereavement Issues
Resources
Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsQuestions and AnswersLinksBook Reviews
Related Topics

Depression: Major Depression & Unipolar Varieties
Family & Relationship Issues
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Death & Dying

Ask Dr. DombeckAsk Dr. Dombeck:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

how can I cope with what seems unbearable pain of loss upon death of my husband

Fri, Dec 28th 2007

I was married for over 40 years and for those 40 years, he was someone I loved and liked....we had a relationship of sharing, of support, of friendship...he was my best friend and he died. We had no children and I think because of that we devoted more time to each other. I enjoyed him and he enjoyed me....I know that sounds selfish and egotistical....but we truly loved each other and being with each other. I cared for him during the last 3 years of his battle with cancer, but he died in my arms just 2 months ago. He wanted to die because he was suffering and yet told others he didn't want to leave me alone. I am alone now and each day seems to be getting worse because each day brings the "real"? reality that he is not coming back to me. It comes to me like a punch in the stomach and I feel nothing but complete hopelessness and black despair...nothing helps. I try to do things, but it's all superficial...like painting a house over old peeling paint... it's all temporary...I've lost part of my soul and I can't imagine wanting to live without him....people say that time heals...but I can't imagine wanting to live without him...I wish I would die in my sleep...I have tried to search ways to end my life, but I'm afraid I'll just botch it and end up alive but disabled or dysfunctional....I have never, though, felt such complete despair....there's just nowhere to go and he's not coming back to me....I just want to scream.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Dombeck to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Dombeck, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Dombeck and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.